"I paint and repaint you the way I see fit, even now. After all these years. Did you know that? Little fool. you think I went hobbling along with my life, whimpering and whining like some twangy country-and-western when you went back to her. But I've been waiting. Making the world look at you from my eyes. And if that's not power, what is?"
This passage takes place as the plot is developing. Some background on the narrator's childhood and personal views have been shared and now the narrator, who is speaking in 1st person, is beginning to to tell a specific story. The majority of the piece is a flashback, to this time in her life, and this man in her life who affected her greatly but she will not allow herself to feel like the victim. She will change the situation in a way that she is empowered, and they are the ones that are suffering and pathetic.
The tone of the narrator in this piece is a combination of bitterness, anger and empowerment. The narrator seems to in a way, be covering up her feelings of hurt and longing for this man, with feelings of anger and pride and a "I don't give a damn." attitude. She sees the way it turned out, and instead of wallowing in sorrow, she turns and twists the outcome in a way that gives her some satisfaction. It is a definite Man versus Man conflict, but also a conflict of the individual versus the self. She does not want to have any feelings of attachment, longing, or anything that makes her weak and dependent. This is evident in her diction. She is almost spitting and laughing at this man, calling him a "little fool," boasting of her power to change the scenario in a way which benefits her, that she has power over him, and he can never affect her negatively and never did because she can simply "paint and repaint (you) the way I see fit, even now." Her syntax is ungrammatical, as if she is actually talking to him and he can't respond, he can only listen to her bring him down. But it is evident that these are just thoughts she keeps to herself, that this man is unaware of her thoughts about him. It is almost as if this passage is a way for her to convince herself that she is powerful and doesn't care. Most of the time, if something causes a person to go off on an angry rant, it is because they truly do care. Ranting about how much you don't care and are not affected is in itself a contradiction. So even through the somewhat cocky diction, it is clear that the narrator is upset and insecure about this event.
As a whole this piece is about the bitterness of a woman who will never marry based on her negative experiences and views on men. This passage is captures the heart of her "I don't care" tone, and sums up her need for power. She cannot be brought down, not by men, because she uses them, not the other way around, and not by women, she brings them down. She cannot be hurt because she will not love, and if an outcome occurs that she doesn't like, she can simply "repaint" it the way she sees fit.
Discussion Question: In what way is this attitude of hers desirable? What happiness is there in changing the way things were or are in your head in order to always be on top? What satisfaction is there in hurting or destroying something you once loved just because you couldn't have it?
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